从课程规划到录取通知，AI 全程助力你的转学之路
智能文书写作辅助
革命性的AI文书写作体验，从构思到润色，全程智能辅助。
分析数千份成功案例，理解每所UC的偏好，生成个性化文书建议。
AI实时评估文书质量，提供改进建议，确保文书突出你的优势。
根据你的背景故事，智能推荐最具竞争力的素材和写作角度。
拖动中间的滑块来对比优秀文书和待改进文书的区别。通过对比，你可以更好地理解什么样的写作方式更受欢迎。
“CAPITALISM CAUSES EXTINCTION! NUCLEAR WAR IS IMMINENT!” Initially, debate seemed nonsensical: lambasting opponents while arguing improbable scenarios. But over time I’ve learned that it’s more than competition that drives me to stay up all night looking for evidence: I love learning about the political and ideological underpinnings of our society and the way they shape us. On an easy debate tournament weekend, I research foreign diplomatic agendas and synthesize the information into coherent debate evidence. When tournaments become more hectic, however, I delve deeper into the works of philosophers and social critics and translate the knowledge into debate argumentation. While researching foreign policy, critical theory like Heideggerian phenomenology and constitutional details, I’ve developed an ability to critically analyze argumentation, make sense of the world around me and creatively express myself in an academic setting. My hard work has paid off. In the past four tournaments, I’ve received a Top 10 speaker award for the varsity division consisting of about 50 debaters. This trend has increased my credibility in my debate league to such a level that my partner and I were invited to participate in a series of public debates at LA City Hall to defend the water policy for the drought. The opportunity allowed me to actually impact the public’s awareness and accept a larger responsibility in the workings of my community. More importantly, however, debate has taught me to strategically choose my battles. When I prepare my arguments, I know that I can’t use all of them in the end of a round. I have to focus. I’ve learned to maximize my strengths and not try to conquer everything. Moreover, I’ve learned to be responsible with my choices; a wrong argument can mean losing if we can’t defend well. Not only do I now know how to zoom in from a bigger picture, but I also know how to pick the right place to zoom in to so I can achieve my goal. Debate has turned me into a responsible, optimizing, scrutinizing and strategizing orator.
字数: 337
优秀文书特征分析
When Grandma moved into my home in my sophomore year, she always made the most scrumptious foods. She usually started with a base of garlic-ginger paste in some oil—duck fat because she said it gave her food extravagant flavors. She would gather the lamb she had bought from the market that day and butcher it before throwing it in the pot. Spices would start to be poured in slowly. Her final result: biryani. Most essays start this way: a really narrative introduction. Typically it isn’t bad, but the problem I have is deciding how much detail is too much. Sometimes I think about how the scent travels around the house. Perhaps I should describe how she toasts her spices. She would make so much that the leftovers became my lunch. But the kids at school looked at me strangely; their faces shriveled, mouths frowned. I hoped they were judging someone else. After all, it couldn’t possibly be me because I was a pretty laid-back individual. But it turned out they were. Did I offend them? Did I now commit a sin I was yet unaware of?
字数: 186
智能优化建议
目标学校: UC Berkeley | 当前字数: 320
故事架构完整,过渡自然,首尾呼应效果好
展现了独特的技术视角和社区贡献精神
用词准确,但部分描述可以更生动
与Berkeley的创新精神高度契合
建议加强第二段与主题的关联
可以添加更多具体的技术贡献细节
第三段的情感表达可以更细腻
重点展现申请者如何推动创新和社会进步
强调个人成长和对多元化的理解
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